Yesterday

Morning
whisper whispering in the wee hours of the morning "Mama, can I sleep with you?"
I pull myself from a deep slumber to make room for his little warm body to slide in next to me. He fits in beside me just so, little feet pushing through my legs and my arms wrapped around his little middle. How precious those moments are. Oh my goodness, how we love 3. Age 3 and all three. Age 3 is so special. A full, strong voice and a sweet, soft demeanor. Full of love and wildness and care. The other day we were at a play together and he rubbed and patted my back through the whole thing. I love him.
Back to that morning. Two other littles tumbling into bed and fighting for the spot next to Mama. I end up with the littlest directly on top of me, one to the left and one to the right of me. Soren tries to slumber on. Kasper loves his back rub and AnaSofia loves to talk. We pass the moments before sunrise listening to the ducks, watching the sky change from this color to that and keeping warm together in a bed not quite big enough for all five. Pure bliss.
I love them all.

Night

 We read in their three-tiered bunk bed. Usually I am curled in the covers with Magnus, then Kasper, then AnaSofia. Always rotating from bed to bed cuddling and snuggling for a bit before I say good night.
"I love you Magnus."
"I love you too Mommy" (tight little hands wrapped fiercely around my neck). Wow, Mr. Three. Thank you. Tears as I say good night to them all.
"I love you to infinity and back Mom," yells Kasper.
"I love you to infinity and back and back again," shouts AnaSofia.
"That's not possible!" says Kasper. And bickering ensues as I turn out the light. One more hug.
"It is okay guys, I understand. It is hard to put into words but we just feel it."
"I just love you SO much Mama."

Oh my dears. I know.

It all feels so precious and fleeting, doesn't it? Much like these days. The weather is feeling like early Spring rather than end of November and I am trying to immerse myself outdoors in the garden making more beds, working on the treehouse, planning more tree and garden space and just trying to be outside and soak it all up but it just isn't possible. It slips through our fingers no matter what...
Yesterday was one of those filled to the brim days. My heart bursting with love for this tribe I spend my days with - some days it is just so overwhelming - the desire to pause and hold them there, the late night wake up and prayer that we all are okay because right now we all are okay and it feels so good.
Holding on to that feeling of those tight squeezes and kisses from littles, the strong hugs of that gentle man and the warmth of the sunshine in December as long as I can.
Feeling grateful. Happy Thanksgiving!

I look at my yesterdays for months past, and find them as good a lot of yesterdays as anybody might want. I sit there in the firelight and see them all. The hours that made them were good, and so were the moments that made the hours. I have had responsibilities and work, dangers and pleasure, good friends, and a world without walls to live in.
― Beryl Markham, West with the Night