The First Snow

"in civilization we try to combat winter. we try to modify it so that we can continue to live the same sort of life that we live in the summer. we plow the sidewalks so we can wear low shoes, and the roads so we can use cars. we heat every enclosed space and then, inadequately clad, dash quickly from one little pocket of hot air through a bitter of no-man's land of cold to another. we fool around with sun lamps, trying to convince our skins that it is really august, and we eat travel-worn spinach in an attempt to sell the same idea to our stomachs. naturally, it doesn't work very well. you can neither remodel nor ignore a thing as big as winter."

- louise dickinson rich, we took to the woods

I am one of those people who run into winter with open arms, ready to embrace it wholeheartedly. I love the cold, the layers, the skis, the skates, the shoveling, the snowman building, the bird and squirrel feeding and watching, the inside crafting and knitting, the popcorn and hot cocoa after every sled adventure.

The first snow. The gentle flakes drifting to the ground, covering the grays, browns and greens in sparkly white.

Embrace it. Love it, for it is surely here now. Welcome Winter, I have been waiting for you.

LITTLE l i t t l e little things

These last few weeks have been hard on me. It is all I can do to stay above the surface... I think things are hard because I just refuse to yield and take in the medicine I am given. I am humbled each day by that reminder and try so hard to just fall back into the arms of others and let it all be... Not so easy for me - I need control and scoff at vulnerability. But I am trying...
 My most grateful moments are alone with Magnus, many days he is that medicine, that reminder. There is no rushing his awake hours three days a week when it is just me and him. It is the few hours I just S I T and let life move around me. Tuesday once I had packed and moved too many boxes out of the big kids' room while he was sleeping, we went back in and walked around the empty space. It was a cold day, empty canvas kind of November day. I love that about November - the poetic beauty of the golden grasses folded over, the white birches in stark contrast to the grays and browns. I knelt down to his level and saw the world from there. What a world it is. I opened the window and our eyes at the same level gazed out of the very bottom of the window - saw the trees blowing, felt the c o l d breeze blowing into the house and just lived it. Just LIVED it. It might have been my favorite few minutes of the whole year.

Then today we walked out of an early morning appointment (my dentist appointment where Magnus laid on my chest the entire time just watching and being close) to a flurry of snow swirling down. "Snow!" I repeated to him over and over as he gazed in wonder. We knelt down in the parking lot so he could touch it. "Cold!" I said. We came to the car and he poked out his tiny little pointer finger to scoop up the snow and I pushed it into his mouth and he giggled. And then he ate a lot of snow off that little pointer finger.
Some days I literally don't know how I do it - balancing my work, child care, house, food, a husband, his long hours at work and just all else but most days I just can't believe that I can do it, that I am doing it and that I love it. Because I really do love it. Experiencing life through the eyes of #3? It is still so new and beautiful to me too. Different than #1 and #2 and just so unbelievably beautiful. I am so thankful for the grace these little people show me in those little moments of life. Small slices. Bits and pieces. Beauty, every inch of it is beautiful...

Seven Years of Halloween

A warm bonfire, a school parade, a playground party with friends and a quick trip down Main Street for sticky treats before the rains came...

Halloween is much anticipated in this house. Costumes are discussed, elaborately planned and finally executed in the last week (when I am sure no one will change their mind!)... The Pumpkin Fairy is graciously accepted by these sweet toothed little loves (although AnaSofia has the willpower of a stone wall and can say no to anything, Kasper and I are the complete opposite!) and candy is given away at the end of the night in hopes for a special little handmade gift waiting in the morning.

This year was fun. AnaSofia wanted to be a mermaid princess and had a specific idea for her dress which included it being tight at her ankles and fanning out like a fin to her feet. But how will you run? I would ask. I ended up using two buttons and a piece of elastic to hold back the fabric for her important displaying moments and then showed her how to release the elastic to RUN WILD. We were both happy. Phew...

We have been reading a lot of Rudyard Kipling recently and Kasper finally narrowed in on being a leopard. Thank you Marden's for having a ridiculously realistic looking furry fabric that Kasper wanted instead of the much cheaper and easier to work with fleece. I was so grateful how much it SHED each time I made a cut into it. *SIGH* But Kasper was happy.

Magnus wore the thrifted Old Navy lion costume AnaSofia wore all those years ago when we had our first little Halloween party at Essex Street. Such a sweet, special time those days wore so long ago! It makes my heart ache to see my third child wearing something the other two passed through and wore with such joy.

We had a beautiful All Hallow's Eve - and are slowly beginning to embrace the night, the darkness and the changing of the seasons.