My 36th year begins...

Slowly growing and stretching into me as the littles do the same...
Changing and staying the same...
Smiling and crying all in one breath...
Quiet, loud, sharing, stoic...
Wondering where this path of me will lead.
Weaving and swirling, meandering and twirling - not quite straight to be sure.
::BREATHE::
Acceptance.
Wishing for a year of family, simplicity, strength and good health.

Material Love

Do you ever want to do something special for that one, sweet wild child who gives so much? Sometimes this is what I do...

I stay up late, work on a design and start sewing. I choose fabrics I know will be loved, hope I am getting the dimensions right and place it bedside for a morning surprise. I don't know why, but somehow making things to me is love... Food, knitting, sewing, art...
And oh, how this little one deserves a little extra something, a little extra material love for just being her. She is so good, impossibly wise beyond her years and so thoughtful. She gets it. I am so grateful for her and it breaks my heart a little - her strength, her goodness... This week a few of her friends were "acting up" and I pulled her back from it and she had to make a choice, go with the flow of the littles or listen to Mama, and she made the right choice immediately. It blew me away (still does) and I felt a little sad for her (for having to choose), but also so happy she made the right choice. It was such a little, silly, insignificant moment, but it sat with me. Tomorrow will be different, and that is okay, but for today I just wanted to honor her in some way.

Gratitude.

8 months + 1 day

Sweet boy... Sitting strong, squirming and worming everywhere and trying so hard to pull up (trust me, little fella, those are hard to do - I know)... Waving bye by clapping one hand on top of the other, bursting forth with a gurgle of noises much like a sentence when you are excited for something. You love Far's "hot potato" routine each night and kick your legs to propel your little self along through the air as he sings to you. You try to say "bye" and "okay" and sometimes I am quite sure you did. I love seeing you squirm across the bed or floor and into my lap - such a sweet, comforting weight.

You pull AnaSofia and Kasper's hair when you see them and bat your hands in their faces to not let them come too close but still they nuzzle you, kiss you, love you without even an "ouch" or "stop" uttered. You are a lucky little fella... So are we...

You are always attached to Mama's hip, superman style (your only way to ride) and I am relishing all these minutes that you want to be close and cuddling with me because I am all too aware that my baby is disappearing much too fast, but I do so love the little one you are growing into...

 

(And speaking of love and handmade - thank you to sweet friends for your fitting, sweet little onesie - it always makes me smile and big sister made the little slip knot knitted bracelet for you, it is her new finger knitting adventure).

 Yes, we love you... A LOT.

Celebrating Beltane...

Winter already seems so very far away and yet the green everywhere seems too quickly to have taken over the forest and fields. This time of year is always one of suspended dreaminess for me: what month is it? what season are we in? And then comes May, my favorite month of the year... We waited until Far's home day and our school's May Fest to celebrate Beltane here at home with our traditional fire and clarifying of our intentions for the summer months.

 The kids each bundled up a little offering to burn and Soren and I made a list of things to be done this summer... It felt good.

 

 They are growing and changing just as fast as the seasons are flying by. It blows me away and I am trying so hard to hold onto the brief moments, embrace the change and move with them but it is so hard some days. I just want time to stand still.

 

Thankful for this silly little tribe of mine.
Welcome Spring! Embrace and let go all in one breath...